austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,

  • Music:

I need a dedication right away

My frustration with the office Internet Radio prompted me today to do the foolish: I asked the Computer Centre why it was happening. I know helpdesks get a number of people who inserted a slice of banana chocolate cheesecake in their DVD tray and now want to know why the battery won't charge, but just once I would like my report of a problem to be believed the first time through.

Right now they're insisting they didn't change anything, so either I don't have the latest version of my software (iTunes), or the iTunes server is down for repairs. Everybody in the US takes their servers down from 2 to 4 am Eastern, which is 2 to 4 pm here, which gets old fast, particularly with bank web sites. To satisfy the ritual I'm confirming the American Council for the Blind's Treasure-Trove works from home. Tomorrow, I bet, they tell me to reboot and fix the Registry.

And I do have the latest iTunes, including the convenient new ``Podcasting'' feature, which if I understand it, allows anyone on the Internet to arrange MP3 files so my body will be absorbed by a creeping alien plant lifeform and my identity merged into the massmind. I should probably check the README file again. I'm not strictly opposed to photosynthesizing, mind you.

So I suppose the lesson of The Onion's whimsical jaunt to the year 2056 is the future will be an unnavigable, poorly beta-tested muddle. I suppose deep down we knew that. I note with mild irritation that when I was on a campus newspaper in the early 90s, I proposed a spoof issue of phony front-pages from the newspaper throughout a century of history, and another from decades in the future. Nobody agreed this could be a remotely interesting idea, not even the people who thought future Onion editor-in-chief Scott Dikkers' painfully unfunny Jim's Journal comic strip was a hoot. I worked up some great spoof newspaper mastheads.

Trivia: In 1625 Dutch colonists bought 5,295 beaver pelts and 463 otter skins from American Indian traders. Source: The Island at the Centre of the World, Russell Shorto.

Currently Reading: Charlie Chaplin And His Times, Kenneth S Lynn.


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