March 9th, 2004

krazy koati

Having just a vision's no solution

Intermittent rains, not heavy. I might have gone after the squirrel but had too many little tasks to do.

I've been resisting for years but have to face up to it: I need to make a to-do list. I've got too many projects, big (the textbook, a couple papers) and small (new guest descriptions, reviewing the city's MRT stations) that I want to get done, and which I attack in too disorganized a fashion for the time I have available to actually complete. I've managed to get through years -- and completed a mathematics Ph.D. -- without any organization not in my head, but it just isn't working anymore.

I resent this. It's another assault of maturity against me. But it's charmingly Taoist when I invariably leave a small part of a new model unpainted or unassembled. It's a personal failing when I sit for weeks on a paper that's two hours from being done because I can't organize the two hours it needs to be finished. I even leave things I want to do, like watching my Project Gemini: A Bold Leap Forward DVD set, forgotten because I don't choose time to pay attention to it.

Maturity's come in little things, a night I realized I didn't want a whole bowl of ice cream, the day I started setting my alarm for before 9 a.m. even when I didn't have to be anywhere before noon. They've all turned out well, but I hate giving in again, and I hate my suspicion that it'll be exactly the right thing to do.

Trivia: There was a manned spacecraft in orbit six percent of the time during the 603 days of the manned Gemini program. Source: On the Shoulders of Titans: A History of Project Gemini, Barton C. Hacker and James M. Grimwood. NASA SP-4203.

Currently Reading: London: A History, Francis Sheppard.