May 6th, 2005

krazy koati

I asked him his name and in a raspy voice he said ``Yoda''

I can only guess what the Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith merchandising is like in the US, but I noticed Burger King here has cast its fortunes with the franchise. Most notably they're offering Galactic Star Burgers, which are, well, burgers with ``star potatoes''. These are tater tots cut in star shapes and put on the bun, which seems like it could be tasty, but there's this miasma of sadness connected to tater tots that I don't think they can overcome even with tangy barbecue sauce. The posters with stars and moons and burgers with star potatoes on them are cheerily 1978, though.

The placemat -- I swiped one, so this is accurate -- shows the Kids Meal toys and asks ``How well do you know your Star Wars characters?'' from which I can conclude I don't know a thing about them, offending my nerdiness. The toys and questions:

  1. Light Speed Millennium Falcon: What type of ship is the Millennium Falcon? Ironically, it's Enterprise-class.
  2. Wrap Around Chewbacca: What is the name of the actor who plays Chewbacca? Wallace Shawn, believe it or not.
  3. Dueling Darth Vader: What is the name of Darth Vader's flagship? His flagship is the HMS Pansy. This, and the inability of any Jedi Master to ever tell anyone anything that was true, lead him to the Dark Side.
  4. Piece Me Up C3PO: How many languages can C-3PO speak? He doesn't; it's a bluff.
  5. Back Flip Yoda: What special rank does Yoda hold on the Jedi temple? He's the only one of them to ever beat Civilization III on ``Diety'' level.
  6. Action, Reaction R2D2: Who is the actor inside of R2-D2? Trick question. There's no actor; he's a robot.

The fine print notes ``The BURGER KING bun halves and Crescent Logo is a trademark of the Burger King corporation.'' I misread as the ``Coruscant Logo'' and thought they'd worked out a cool Trantorian custom logo, which, of course, I didn't find.

They're also selling collectible plastic drink cups, which they don't fill. If you buy a collectible cup, they give you the large soda in a standard disposable paper cup, so you can take the plastic one home without it leaking soda residue. Odd, but practical, I guess.

Trivia: In 1797 France captured over 300 United States vessels. Source: The March of Democracy, James Truslow Adams.

Currently Reading: Time and Again, Clifford Simak.