austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,
austin_dern
austin_dern

They thought it was a washing machine

I do not inherently care that there is a movie adapting Dan Brown's novel The DaVinci Code coming out sometime this year. Like most sane people, I think of the book only at piles of it in book stores when I wonder why none of my novels sell like that. This question is adequately answered by the fact the only novel I ever finished writing was a Star Trek: The Next Generation fanfic a long time ago that neither you nor anyone else shall ever see. I suspect most people have similar thoughts.

However, thanks to the movie I've been plagued with some group which very very much wants me to have ``their'' little magazine, ``A Companion Guide to the Movie or Novel''. Yesterday they staked out all the campus bus stops and shoved them at anyone getting off buses. I don't like being surly, but after the third time I growled, ``No,'' which may not seem like much but is rather intimidating when you're eight times the volume of the person you're speaking to. Today they shoved copies under my office door. This has to be part of the movie's marketing, since they're irritating enough I almost wanted to see the movie to spite them.

The magazine is all about showing The DaVinci Code is a bunch of scurrilous rumors and libels against the Roman Catholic Church, which it seems they find more potentially damaging than that whole ``priests abusing children'' scandal. Apparently DaVinci Code decriers have the strange idea that people might believe in centuries-spanning conspiracies, widespread fraud, corruption, and cronyism, interrupted by weird fanboy orgasms, coming from the same organization that brought us the Donation of Constantine, the relics trade, the sale of indulgences, the Borgias, and such escapades as the homoiousian controversy, the filioque clause, and the immaculate conception of the Virgin Mary.

I did like the article explaining how one of Dan Brown's most misguided theories was that the New Testament as we know it was created at the behest of the Emperor Constantine. In no small part that's because they referred to the gathering of the New Testament Cannon [ sic ], a word which plagues fans on Star Trek groups too.

Trivia: Cardinal Rodrigo Borgia spent up to 25,000 ducats in bribes in trying to win the Papal Enclave of 1484; he failed at that time. Source: The March of Folly, Barbara W Tuchman.

Currently Reading: The Man With Nine Lives, Harlan Ellison.

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