austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,
austin_dern
austin_dern

In the mind of a mouse in the woods

My parents were going to be out for about an hour, and then we would see about dinner. Around halfway through I heard the phone and made an effort to find the kitchen phone, which is on the receiver about one time in three rings. The phone's designers had the inspiration to make the base station ring but not the receiver, an act of genius for which I assume the designers have been taken prisoner by enraged phone users. So I let the answering machine take the call. It was my father, urging me to pick up the phone, inspiring me to look again at the parts of the kitchen and dining room where I knew it wasn't. By that time he was telling me to order pizza for dinner. So I called the pizza place with an order for two pizzas. (My father likes very much my talent for selecting pizza toppings. I typically order one with a meat topping and then one with a vegetable topping. I think he's impressed by the notion of toppings.)

When I got to the pizza place the pizzas were ready and my parents were there. If I had called them back I'd have learned they weren't sure whether I was going to order anything, so they went to the pizza place and ordered a calzone and some eggplant thing. So there's meals for a half-week or so. My mother tried to pay for the two orders together, which the cashier needed some explanations to get. (It's a fine place for food, but the register work has always been quirky. The weekly order for two pizzas with one topping each varies in price usually between fourteen and twenty-six dollars.) And when the cashier had it straightened out, one of the cooks protested that she was ringing up the wrong boxes since these were pizza, not calzone and eggplant. My mother suggested I take the pizza and leave while they sorted out the payment, so I don't know just how it ended except they did get back home for dinner.

Trivia: The first edition of the Encyclopedia Britannica dedicated 500 words to explaining poetry and 39 pages to cures for horse disease. Source: Know-It-All, A J Jacobs.

Currently Reading: The Marx Brothers: Their World of Comedy, Allen Eyles. One side effect of reading lots of Marx Brothers jokes -- this happens when I see their movies too -- it heightens the side of me that makes more rapid-fire word-twisting jokes. This morning I got into a pretty good string of jokes just after one of the actual employees at the office mentioned he didn't have to make coffee for work this morning. Alas, after building a pretty good head of steam I didn't have a conclusion for it, although it left the guy reasonably flummoxed.

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