austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,

And Candy's always handy when I need sympathy

There've always been people bringing stuff to eat in at the office, although never on a predictable schedule. The current streak got started just before New Year's, when someone brought in a bag of Mallo Cups. This wasn't just a little bit of Mallo Cup; this was a five pound bag of them. It turns out they were factory rejects, although it's not clear to me what was rejected about them. Some of them had wrapping that was glued tighter than standard, so that for example the overleaf useful in unsealing the package wasn't available. It took just over a week for that to be fully eaten. I realized belatedly that I should have been collecting the points on it, since the $1.00 Mallo Cup Rebate for 500 points is the highest return-on-investment available in the current economy.

Following that has been a succession of varied snacks: there've been several pies, ranging from something that I guess was Life cereal in molasses to sugared syrup in molasses. These pies could be very dense and satisfying, but they also were more likely to break the plastic knives we have than to be sliced themselves. For a couple of lunches they've served as desserts, but often enough nobody could penetrate their protective crusts.

On top of that was a bundle of miscellaneous small snacks, with items like baklava or caramels or ginger snaps or things I'm not sure I can identify but that seemed to be sweet pastry with sugar. There've also been several cake-like items, including one crown roast-shaped cake which sat on the table for over a week because everyone suspected there was stale fruitcake inside. By the time this was disproved it was getting to be stale and it was tossed out to the birds.

This week, the major new food item has been an enormous bag of bagels. It's hard to escape the impression that someone is trying to fatten up the staff. And now it's frustrating me as I get daily updates on my sorry body-mass index, too.

Trivia: By 1876 the United States was able to export to the United Kingdom more than a million pounds of ``butterine'', that is, margarine. Source: Food In History, Reay Tannahill.

Currently Reading: No Highway, Nevil Shute.


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