austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,

Indecision is crowding me; I have no room to spare

I should open this anecdote with the mention that people may not want to read it as it involves the various things which human bodies can excrete. And to acknowledge that stores are only in a general fashion responsible for the behavior of the people who shop there. I also acknowledge that kids are, to some extent, ongoing experiments in how much a person can get away with in as short a time as possible while the local authority figure is momentarily preoccupied.

I had finished one of my increasingly rare visits to K-Mart --- I'm pretty well stocked up on sweatpants and shirts that fit my new, Small, size, and I haven't found a decent pair of slacks or dress shirt there in years, and underwear or socks I can get anywhere; about all they offer that's unique that I want is lip balm in flavors like Dr Pepper Cherry, or Twinkie --- and was exiting with fresh-bought miscellanies. (Also whoever thought to make lip balm in candy flavors deserves a kajillion dollars bonus.) Blocking me and the exit was a family, I suppose, with one of those shopping carts that's also a giant toy car. They were trying to get all the kids simultaneously out of the car/cart and all the packages ready to go, and blocking the exit lane that I'm sure was considered adequate in 1978 when store designers hadn't quite figured out doors yet. That's not the problem; happens all the time.

As the mother(?) was picking up one of the kids, the other ran to the exit door, pulled his pants down, and began peeing. And kept at it, as mother and father(?) were trying to get the rest of the family under control. The mother was horrified when she noticed, and stopped him as best as that can really be stopped by external shame. And she warned people around about what the growing liquid puddle outside the main exit door was, at least while she was getting everything organized out. I took one of those middle doors that nobody really uses to go out, avoiding the whole marked territory.

I have the feeling I may have graduated from K-Mart shopper to Target shopper. (And yes, I know, there's no place outdoors that hasn't been peed on by something at some point in the Earth's history; that's what makes it outdoors. I just don't want to be a witness to it.)

Trivia: When Peter Stuyvesant arrived to take over the colony of New Amsterdam in May 1647 he came along with his wife Judith, four months pregnant at the time of arrival. Source: The Island At The Centre Of The World, Russell Shorto.

Currently Reading: The History Of Econometric Ideas, Mary S Morgan. This is ... not as thrilling a book as you might suppose from the title.


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