austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,
austin_dern
austin_dern

And if they should bar wars

How can you not love a DVD store named Laser Flair? Besides the name, they had the Star Wars: The Trilogy People Actually Like set, with each movie on three of the four monitors1. I didn't buy it, since I think George Lucas shouldn't have fired the guy with the axe who's supposed to chase him away when it's done. They still haven't got Han looking anywhere near Jabba in the the Correctly-Cut-In-1977 scene. I realized the core of Death Star II looks a lot like the core of the Master Control Program. The mall's celebration of antiseptic cleaners (I swear) was too loud to hear if the Ewok Celebration is still the Sesame Street theme. And they edited the Final Jedi Ghost scene so Irritating Whiny Schmuck Annakin is with Yoda and Obi-Wan, even though Luke still reveals Darth Vader under the mask is Uncle Fester. Whiny Schmuck looks way creepier and more menacingly evil than Jedi Fester, too.

Their Robo Corn, alas, seems to be closed. There was a new kiosk not in the same spot, Strudel House, which just screams ``Southeast Asian Cuisine'' because they have durian strudel. The mind reels, staggers out of the mall, comes back in, looks again, and still can't believe it.

1 The other monitor had a Scooby-Doo movie with Shaggy and Creepy CGI Scooby stumbling into a transformation story, gulping down bright liquids and transforming in too-quick-to-be-enjoyable wobbles into eggplant monsters, women, and buff millerwolf-style hulks. That's not going to make me break my Scooby Boycott.

Trivia: The Sunday, 17 October 1965 issue of The New York Times was 946 pages long, and weighed approximately seven and a half pounds. Source: 1982 Guinness Book of World Records, Norris McWirther.

Currently Reading: A Wodehouse Bestiary, P.G. Wodehouse.

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