austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,

Lock all the doors as if to hide

I feel like snacking on microwave popcorn and fortunately have several boxes worth of the stuff. It's in mini-bag format, since I've learned that the regular-size bags lie-by-obfuscation about their calorie content and I do try to keep to some vague calorie limits on what I eat, while mini-bags are pretty reliably a hundred calories. I discover that my father in his endless quest to take things out of their containers has scattered the bags across the pantry shelf, but, I find one and he hasn't developed to the point of taking them out of their plastic wrappers yet.

I set it in the microwave, and use the add-30-seconds button several times over to get to a reasonable popping time for this sort of thing; the 'Popcorn' timer doesn't work for mini-bags, which my parents haven't quite internalized yet, resulting in various small bags of charred popcorn. I wait, letting the digitally reconstituted image of the videotaped image of Johnny Carson watch an unreconstituted elephant get onto one of those frustrum stands. I hear strikingly few of the pops which mark microwaved popcorn popping.

I find the bag has barely expanded at all, and is merely a slightly warmed envelope of neutron kernels, unwilling to interact with their microwave environment in the proper way. I throw the bag in the trash and consider whether the popcorn failure reflects in any way on my moral character.

I try to not feel defeated by the microwave popcorn industry, yet this is a difficult struggle.

I eat a few sliced fruits from a luau bowl in the fridge.

Trivia: Lithium does not react with oxygen unless warmed to about 100 degrees celsius. Source: Nature's Building Blocks: An A-Z Guide To The Elements, John Emsley.

Currently Reading: Mastering The Sky: A History Of Aviation From Ancient Times To The Present, James P Harrison. This comes close to the point of being almost a slangy reminiscence.


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