Most people have no ideas of the amazing connections there are between things. Even I barely know one out of every eight of the things I'll be writing about here. Is that a good reason to stop? We won't know for seven more things yet.
But consider: during the War (any War) a merry-go-round manufacturer made airplane gun mounts, explaining why during the famous Thousand-Bomber Raids all the experienced pilots were eager to get to the flight line and hop onto the zebras. The tragic ``friendly fire'' incidents at Palisades Park from 1943 until Reconversion we will dimly remember.
Merry-go-rounds were invented by in 1315 by the Baron Kench of Floated Mews by having an operator go pushing down real horses. This did not work, nor did having the riders pop up. But when knees became standard on horses (August 14, 1828) the scheme got working right in time to be obsolete, as it should be, and is. Remarkably, this Baron is also credited as the inventor of the ``am I not correct?'' ``you are not correct'' comeback. This snappy response swept forensics contests back in 1315, when the contests were done in Law French and primarily used cudgels.
Actually, neither was invented by Kench, but rather by a couple of serfs who were employed by Kench, which is to say in exchange for their hard work he would refrain from cudgelling them so much. For their work they were rewarded, with not having to go to any more forensics events that semester. This would be a lucky break since at the final contest that term the participants were scheduled to die from an outbreak of yellow fever (which they did not, as their bus was late, not being invented until 1884, messing up so many further plans).
Yellow fever itself was invented in 1975 by Benjamin Franklin, sneaking out of the 18th century for one of his periodic holidays, and brought back to colonial Philadelphia in what he admitted was one of his stupider ideas. He was having an off day, as were many people, due to the recession.
And yet what would yellow fever have been if it were not for foul water, credited to Amperious Respue? Respue is furthermore renowned as having the gelatinous insight which allows manufacturers to divide shampoo into fine layers of ``worthless'' and ``good'' formula. This way the first shampooing is dull and the second all foamy and pleasant; without his work nothing but pleasant shampoos would leave people cheery about waking up, distressing the cynical-coffee industry.
Yet his contributions did not end there despite the squadrons of time-travelling assasins: he revolutionized the car industry in 1665 with the component making that squealing, high-pitched rattling followed by a klunk which sounds like you might have fallen out of the vehicle. Before you think Respue hated people, consider that he also in 1988 created the organ in small children enabling them at all times to throw up what looks like week-old corn flakes into the middle of your shirt from as much as thirty feet behind you. Again, this makes it sound like he hated people, but actually he hated only other people. Possibly he resented everyone noticing the obvious fakeness of his name. He would be better known as Ernie ``Rochester'' Anderson, mistakenly.
So let us review: Gottfried Leibniz invents the blue diode laser, which lets the Moon declare independence from Meridianal Mars during their struggle with the polar powers, but drains the power from the entire Tennessee Valley, provoking a crisis of confidence in the plastic flower aisle at the crafts store as people realize they can't tell which flower names were made up to sound silly, forcing the Indian National Congress to develop airplanes made entirely of torn wrappers from Splenda packets, rushing into the War of the Polish Succession in time to sweep Madagascar, emptying all sorts of dirt and loose screws which had been gathering on the floor. And if you look in your hand your card is for Apollo Tire Repair and Car Embarrassment, am I not correct?
Any further questions may be submitted, in care of.
Trivia: In his Poor Richard's Almanac Benjamin Franklin reprinted excerpts from a popular chronology which provided the dates for the invention of playing cards (1391), the Noahcian Flood (2348 BC), and the first wearing of silk stockings by a king (1547). Source: Stealing God's Thunder: Benjamin Franklin's Lightning Rod And The Invention of America, Philip Dray.
Currently Reading: Pulitzer: A Life, Denis Brian. (Author of Einstein: A Life, the jacket copy makes clear, so obviously Brian needs help with his subtitles.)