Dramatis Personae: the IT person; the Programmer; the Other programmer; the Client Relations person.
Setting: a conference room with two tables and numerous chairs.
The characters, bearing two laptops, enter.
IT: Is this the room?
Relations: They said we could present here or in the break room.
Programmer: They don't know how many will be here either.
Other: I won't tell you how to do your job, but if they think the break room is enough it may be just a couple people.
IT: Want to rearrange the tables? One long row or two facing each other?
Relations: Depends how many come. Will the boss be here?
IT: Don't know. Haven't heard from him all week.
Relations: Did you send him a reminder?
IT: Nope. He might've come.
Other: Did you notice the doughnuts in the break room?
Programmer: Nobody's eaten any. They've been open two hours and nobody took a doughnut. What's it mean?
Other: They cut all the doughnuts in half. Who does that?
Relations: The doughnut shop, if you ask.
Other: You know who's the only person who wants half a cruller? The person who ate the first half, that's who.
Programmer: Their corporate culture buys bisected doughnuts that people don't eat. This doesn't bother anyone?
IT: [ Checking the phone. ] The boss was ten minutes away five minutes ago. He got lost.
Relations: So he'll be here in fifteen minutes.
IT: Can't blame him getting lost. I got lost driving you all up here. Ended up drifting around Wildwood.
Relations: Wildwood is easy. Parkway south and follow the signs.
IT: I ... right, that's why I won't be here for two hours.
Relations: It's getting *here* you could get lost. When are you going to Wildwood?
IT: I ... should check our room.
[ IT ducks out. ]
Programmer: Someone should be here, at least to set the projector.
Other: I'm not telling you how to do your presentation but if there's no projector you'll have to do it on the laptop.
Programmer: I thought you were presenting?
Other: I don't know about your thing but if I were doing your presentation I'd show that demo from a couple weeks ago.
Programmer: When our projector caught on fire.
Relations: Definitely! I'm not telling you how to do presentations but that was captivating.
Programmer: I need to go to the bathroom.
[ Programmer exits; IT returns. ]
IT: They say this is the room unless we want the other one.
Other: I'm not telling you what to do, but you should figure what room we're in.
Relations: Let's set up here.
IT: [ Sets a laptop on a desk without opening ] Set.
Other: Now, if I were doing this, and I don't know what all is being presented, I'd check the Internet was working.
IT: [ Opens laptop ] Internet's working.
Relations: Good thing we checked.
IT: Good thing I brought a mee-fee. Mee-fee. Mee-fee.
Relations: I think those are called mi-fi.
IT: They ... yeah.
[ Programmer returns, with half a cruller cradled in a napkin. ]
Other: Told you.
Programmer: They have a poem, on a sign, above the toilet. About if you're insufficiently dainty while 'tinkling'.
IT: Makes you wonder whose job is writing tinkle poetry.
Relations: They probably copied it.
IT: I ... thank you.
Other: You're worried they'll catch you in a tinkling violation?
Programmer: It unsettled me.
Other: You wash your hands after you wash your hands, you know.
Programmer: When they need it.
IT: [ Checking the phone ] The home office called. Most of our servers crashed and the survivors are resorting to cannibalism.
Relations: The servers or the people?
IT: I --- [ regards Relations curiously, as Relations exits ]
Programmer: I knew this would happen.
Other: If you knew you should've said something; we could've fixed it.
IT: And the boss says he's twenty minutes away.
Other: He's presenting to another client now, right?
IT: We have a winner!
[ Relations enters ]
Relations: They don't mind if we reschedule. Want to do this again next week?
IT: I'm off next week.
Other: Me too.
Programmer: I don't know why I'm here this week.
Relations: I already told them yes.
IT: Good job, everyone.
Relations: We're finally getting the hang of these.
Trivia: Early experiments in broadcasting orchestral music on the radio found the resonance of the room spoiled the sound. Attempts were made with the orchestra playing underneath a tent on the radio station's roof, sometimes to have the tent blown away. An indoor tent and, finally, sound-dampening wall covers, would solve the problem. Source: Only Yesterday: An Informal History Of The 1920s, Frederik Lewis Allen.
Currently Reading: Since Yesterday: The 1930s In America, Frederick Lewis Allen.
