austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,
austin_dern
austin_dern

Unlock all the locks upon your doors

Some events happening in the community this week:

Zest Week Resolution. Zest Week concludes with participants bringing soap, Orange And Spice Zesty Blend tea, and Zesty Onion Ring Sauce from Burger King. A subcommittee, lead but not managed by parliamentary rules, will find what these have in common and just what ``zest'' in fact is, which perhaps it would have been good to know starting out the week. It will prove to be a slight trumpety noise coming from the hallway. Hallway outside Meeting Room M, 98 Fourth Fourth Street Public Library, Friday, 2:30 - 5:30.

Meet And Greet: Frederick Estuary. Get to know one of our leading minor eccentricities. Frederick Estuary's work of putting travel-size bottles of Gold Bond Medicated Powder in restrooms has been noted by many but not thought about. In person, Estuary is only sixty percent as unsettling as expected and you get to not noticing how he falls over. Rellingham Rest Stop, Saturday, 5:00 - 6:30 pm. Refreshments elsewhere at another time.

Spring Committee Organization Meeting. Volunteers are sought to participate in the Spring Committee so enough people can argue what next year's spring ought to be. A select subcommittee will also keep up its work on arguing whether there should be a spring at all or whether we should adopt ``wintery summer'' for economy. No results are expected as we've booked up on springs for the next fourteen years. Visitors Center, Pudding Ripples Nature Area, Sunday noon.

General Public Pointing And Snickering. The most popular event of the year has citizens gather outside the time vortex to look at our ancestors and point and laugh about all the stupid things they used to do. NOTE: We are no longer making fun of them for building the time vortex. This is not to say we need to worry about hurting their feelings, because if they worried about that sort of thing they wouldn't have run society as badly as they did. Also note that merchants selling so-called ``grandfather paradox insurance'' are running a scam, because it's the grandmothers you really need to watch for. Main room, Temporary Center, Monday 4:00 - 6:00. Refreshments would be welcome.

Impossibili-Tea Circle. In this week's installment of the longrunning live-action soap opera the club finds it impossible even to pay someone to act sympathetic when they notice they're out of strong-flavored teas, leaving them only with the ones that make the hot water a faint off-white color and that taste like the paper cup is slightly dissolving. Meanwhile, Cheryla has her suspicions, and Thomas attempts to hide the large rope hung dividing his bedroom in half, inside and out. Jodi runs away with the gerunds and the elementary school fall program is left hanging over the train tresel. Upper Platform, Darkened Mewes Train Tresel, Tuesday 7:32 - 8:17 or until the Northeast Curmudgeon line arrives early.

Power It Up: Be with us as power is finally restored to the last areas affected by Hurricane Gloria. Activities to include staring hypnotized at the electric fan and brawling to determine who gets first crack at the head of the head of Indefeasible Power and Light. Tuesday, Sunset. (Sunset:30 Central.)

Easy Myth Investigations. Local inquiry group ZRKNX devotes its not technically nonexistent talents to whether local submarine-sized squirrels can be encouraged to express curiosity about the local counterfeit emerald smugglers as depicted in Mark Trail two stories out of five. Though unfair to prejudge the results one suspects the group doesn't want to too hard, as counterfeit-emerald-smuggling falls under the jurisdiction of the pronking gazelles. Heavy Equipment Storage Locker, Muffling Building, Wednesday 6:30 - 8:00. Refreshment left over from the Impossibili-Tea Circle. Guess what ZRKNX stands for and win a handkerchief.

General Public Seething Resentment. The least popular event of the year has citizens gather to be pointed at and laughed by our descendants because they think they know something we don't. Although they're needlessly hurtful do stop in so you can catch names of the rotters and start getting revenge while they're still little. Main room, Temporary Center, Thursday 4:15 - 5:45.

Trivia: New York City department store owner Charles Guth bought Pepsi-Cola out of bankruptcy in 1931, following Coca-Cola's refusal to offer a satisfactory discount for his soda fountains. Source: The Coke Machine: The Dirty Truth Behind The World's Favorite Soft Drink, Michael Blanding.

Currently Reading: Spice: The History Of A Temptation, Jack Turner.

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