austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,
austin_dern
austin_dern

You can never hide

And Global Village wrote back! How do they answer my question, ``In what way is it at all acceptable to put 18 minutes of commercials in front of the movie?''

Thank you for your letter dated 18 October 2004.
CROW: But shut up.

We are sorry to hear that you did not enjoy our pre-show programme.
MIKE: A ``pre-show programme.'' Because if you say you dumped garbage on purpose, people will stop thinking it's garbage.

Such trailers and advertisements have been an integral part of the total cinema programme for many years,
TOM: We're making life measurably worse, one day at a time!

not just at Golden Village.
MIKE: A shrewd use of the ``Billy hit him first'' defense.

We also know of many customers who enjoy and specifically look out for them.
TOM: Showing the hazards of not correcting the focus group results for sarcasm.
CROW: Nine out of ten voices in my head loved the ads for cell phone ring tones!

We will try to balance length and information provision
MIKE: What's the information provision of a car ad?

but hope you will appreciate our need to satisfy as many customers as possible.
CROW: Nothing makes people happier than not seeing the movie they paid for.
TOM: Which is why from next week there'll be 35 minutes of ads instead of ``White Chicks.''

We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your valuable feedback
MIKE: We're working hard on ignoring it now.

and your kind patronage and look forward to your continued support for Golden Village.
CROW: By calling the customer's resentment ``continued support'' you can fool him into thinking he's happy.

Thank you. Kind Regards,
TOM: And once again, shut up.

Thahira, Customer Service Officer.
MIKE: The lowest-ranking bridge officer on the starship Enterprise.

Well. Any chance of me being pacified was lost somewhere between the first lie and the second. The next stage -- my bill, and my complaints to the Straits Times -- would have gone out today if I weren't so busy writing the book, the exam, and lecture notes. Tomorrow will probably be busy grading too. I am mildly impressed they didn't try to use the ``we couldn't possibly afford to show movies if we didn't have a quarter their running time of commercials wasting your time first'' defense, but calling advertisements a ``show'' doesn't make it a show. Sheesh.

Trivia: CBS reported it received approximately 15,000 calls and 22,000 letters in response to Edward R Murrow's See It Now report on Joe McCarthy. Source: A Conspiracy So Immense: The World of Joe McCarthy, David Oshinsky.

Currently Reading: Outlines of Polish History, Roman Dyboski.

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