austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,

We're gonna be stretchin' you out

The overhead on the e-mail warns it is ``confidential and may be privileged. If you are not the intended recipient, please delete it and notify us immediately; you should not copy or use it for any purpose, nor disclose its contents to any other person.'' Happily I was an intended recipient so I can share the tip-top secret letter: It's a notice about the Save Energy Campaign, replete with energy-saving tips you certainly don't want falling into unauthorized hands, like:

  • ``Switch off the lights when you leave your room or office'' I leave my office lights off, and work by daylight, except when the afternoon thunderstorm is too dark (like today). That occurs about every other week.
  • ``Use less disposable items e.g. polystyrene and paper cups and plates.'' They took out all the water fountains for the SARS crisis, so to get something to drink you get a plastic bottle or a metal can of tea, milk, or soda. In this context the cup is redundant at least.
  • ``Use a half flush instead of a full flush in the toilet.'' I don't know how to adjust my flush. I feel so inadequate.
  • ``Use recycled envelopes for all internal mail.'' I haven't seen a virgin envelope for internal mail since 1998; I don't know anyone who has, either. Maybe deans get new envelopes.

I noticed posters for a seminar on Using Humour, on how to develop and hone one's sense of humor and apply it to social and professional gatherings. At the exhortation ``Register now! $10'' I wondered, ``Are you joking?"' Actually, it was my mistake; I'd read the ``@10'' that was part of the date and time as if it were a charge to attend.

Trivia: Wesley Ivan Hurt, Swee'pea in Robert Altman's Popeye, grew eight teeth during filming. Source: The Popeye Story, Bridget Terry.

Currently Reading: Asimov on Chemistry, Isaac Asimov.


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