austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,

Situations we really know but the knowing is in the mind

Recent events from around campus:

The Asian Animation Appreciation Society broke up, with motions to disband, after the faculty advisor poked his head in for a change. On interrupting the most recent viewing of Transformers: The Movie --- believed to be at least the 1,225th since the club was organized in 1991 --- and finding that they had just got to the part where the Autobots crashed on Junkion, the advisor nodded slowly at the TV screen, said, ``uh-huh'' in what participants described as a really intimidating way you should have been there for, and walked out before anyone could start explaining how perfectly the scrapheap-TV-commercial English of the Junkions worked. Club members said it just felt ``kind of hollow'' after that.

That turtle that set across Route 18 at the end of spring term made it to the far side and is reported to be considering endorsement deals.

In the Introductory Mandatory Class session, the professor interrupted the recitation of the syllabus to explain that it would in fact be less obvious to her when students texted if they were to leap up onto their desks, thereby causing the desk and those adjacent to it to fall over as they have the mechanical stability of an avalanche, rip their shirts off and throw them onto the sprinkler heads, causing the fire alarm to immediately go off and douse the classroom, and shout, ``Look at me, I am texting!'' rather than try to hide their phones in their laps or behind propped-up books. After the fourth demonstration of this she is not believed and the campus fire department warned she'll have to get a note from the department chair if she wants to do this again.

Someone in the library took seriously the suggestion that his laptop would run faster if he tilted it backwards so the electrons in it were running downhill. Worse, it worked.

Intermediate Random Numbers, in celebration of the Harrison Road Temporary Classroom Building's 40th year on campus, started with a discussion of the Box-Muller method of generating standard normal distributions, turned into a lot of distracted saying ``Box-Muller, Box-Muller, Box-Muller'' like they were some kind of early 20th century motor puttering along, and has finally ended up with everybody standing at the window staring at the Route 18 turtle. The turtle indicated an eagerness to sign for the Marsaglia and Tsang method.

K Moler, preferring to remain anonymous, was saved this past weekend from a potential lifetime of Monty Python fandom when her friends turned a stroll through the Davison-Davidson Nature Trail into an endless identifications of the larch, which on top of hearing every line from Holy Grail out of order has confirmed her belief that she doesn't need any more. This is a pity as the ``It's The Mind'' sketch about deja vu would have brought her considerable cheer while dealing with a ridiculously unresolvable issue of a four-dollar library fine eighteen months from now, but nobody ever quotes that one because they can't think how to do it. Moler also now does not believe there is any such thing as a larch, correctly.

J Monahan's efforts to bring peace between his two main social circles by explaining at length to them both how ashamed they should be hasn't yet panned out, so he is working instead on more prominently rolling his `r' when saying the word ``three''. This is doing splendidly in encouraging his remaining friends to ask him to say that again, and then to stop asking him to say anything. He is reportedly exploring expanding this to the ``h'' in ``historic''.

L Luk is haunted by hearing from someone who seems to know what he's talking about that cows only sweat through their noses. That doesn't seem like it could be right, but then, where could they sweat otherwise? She's ruled out their beaks, and wings seem unlikely too. She won't be reassured until finding out that cows prefer to hang out in the Chancellor Executive Building, which is efficiently air-conditioned, being as it is on the Ross Ice Shelf and thus they have little need to sweat.

Trivia: In the 1900-01 Ice Trust scandal it transpired that New York City mayor Robert Van Wyck, salaried at $15,000 pa, owned $680,000 in ice trust stock. The stock was apparently not paid for. Source: Satan's Circus: Murder, ice, Police Corruption, And New York's Trial Of The Century, Mike Dash.

Currently Reading: 9 Algorithms That Changed The Future: The Ingenious Ideas That Drive Today's Computers, John MacCormick.

Tags: humor

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