austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,

I would probably invest my life in you

``Your problem with money,'' explained the advisor on the phone, ``is that you aren't doing the things that make it grow into more money.''

I granted this. ``But I do make the effort. I give my money plenty of food, fresh water, let it winter over in the greenbackhouse ... ''

``The problem is your investments. Have you figured out any that give you a better return than Mallo Cup redemption points? If I know you, probably not, because you keep losing the Mallo Cup cards after licking the mallow off them.''

This did sound like someone who knew me. ``What should I be investing in, then?''

Please do follow the rest of this little sequence over at you-know-where. Among other things run this week is a short about the origins of a swear word, which amused me more than anyone else; a spot about some lawn mowing issues, based on real life; something about Wawa, and a dopey gag that kind of formed while I was stopping in Quick Check for a Diet Dr Pepper. Also there's an excerpt from Robert Benchley because he's good that way.

Trivia: Shortly before his death, James Clerk Maxwell published a letter in Nature expressing his doubts that anyone could determine the speed of light as he suggested, using experiments conducted entirely on Earth and detecting the movement of the ether. Source: The Motion Paradox: The 2,500-Year-Old Puzzle Behind All The Mysteries Of Time And Space, Joseph Mazur. (Albert Michelson was very interested in this proposal and Maxwell's doubts.)

Currently Reading: Behind The Walls Of Terra, Philip José Farmer.

Tags: humor

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