austin_dern (austin_dern) wrote,
austin_dern
austin_dern

Turn on your heart light

We got a bundle of those battery-operated LED tea lights, the kind that look like candles without those problems of open fire and wax and smoke and stuff. Actually, we got a big pack. We were going to try just a couple, but we couldn't find just a couple of battery-powered tea lights because the Meijer we were in is renovating so that nobody can find anything anymore. I walked along the aisles, sinking further into the helpless despair that comes from finding magazines on display next to men's shirts or houseplants scrunched up a little too close to the mouthwash aisle. Maybe I was overreacting, but I sure felt at parts like I was going to have to survive by eating my own shoes and drinking rainwater out of a fountain drinks cup scavenged from the parking lot. Maybe I need to go to a different Meijer's until the renovations are done.


Where do I go with this? I'm actually not sure, and I wrote it. But you can read it and have a chance of finding out. And other stuff run there since last week's discovery that ``Our Pet Rabbit Is Proud'' have been:

Trivia: The statistician Adolphe Quetelet established to his satisfaction, if not to horticulturalists', that lilacs will bloom when the sum of the squares of the mean daily temperatures since the last frost amounted to 4,274 degrees. Source: The Triumph of Numbers: How Counting Shaped Modern Life, I B Cohen.

Currently Reading: The Age of Radiance: The Epic Rise and Dramatic Fall of the Atomic Era, Craig Nelson.

Tags: humor
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